Your day is going quite well, and you’re cracking on with some work. Then a certain email pops into your inbox, and you think: ‘oh no’. Your gut starts to churn, and all your positive feelings and good intentions fade away.
It’s the effect of the Negative Person (let’s call her NP) – the person who you feel always criticises, points to things they think you should have done, the person for whom the glass is always half empty.
Instead of being dragged down or drained of energy by NP, try stepping back, observing her way of working, and analysing why she does what she does. Maybe she’s unhappy in her job or life, maybe being negative is a behaviour that gets her what she wants, or perhaps it’s the only way she feels some self-esteem.
To neutralise the effects of NP, it also helps to observe the emotions that come up for you. Does her attitude make you feel guilty? Perhaps she reminds you of someone in the past who you didn’t deal with effectively, or is it that you secretly feel worthless, and NP taps into that feeling?
If you can work out exactly what’s going on for you, acknowledge and accept it, you’ll find that NP doesn’t affect you any more. Then you can smile, and think: ‘I’m sorry you feel so negative and that you have to try to drag me in. But I know what buttons you’re pressing, so I’ve disabled them!’
When NP doesn’t get the reaction she expects, she’ll either go elsewhere, or – even better – realise that being negative isn’t such a great strategy for living her life.
Remember: NP’s behaviour is a reflection of her. It tells you what kind of person she is and what issues she may be dealing with. And your reaction is a reflection of you - it can only get to you if you let it!
If you have comments or reflections on dealing with a Negative Person, why not post a response here?
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